Fellowship 12

I love my recovery steps, like step 31, if your girlfriend leaves you go out and find another right away..Step 32, if she won't come back obsess over her daily and threaten suicide if she won't just listen for a minute.. Or step 18, if you need things you can't afford just steal them..Step 23, if lifes getting you down just blame everyone else..Step 14, if you can't stop getting in trouble move to another town..Step 36, if you can't stop drinking just  accept it and go on to the bitter end..Step 19, if people appear to have better lives than you just talk behind their back with a vengence to validate yourself..Step 52, throw the christmas tree out the front window to prove your love for her...Step 31, smash her family airloom in a psycotic rage to make her pay for not showing you attention..
Step 22, if you have a resentment and feel someone has wronged you,  just pray that you can somehow get even before you die..Step 17, if you need to feel good about yourself buy something you don't need..Step 25, if you feel like people don't accept you just lie to make yourself look better..Step 30, if you feel boring and unimportant just make up horrific  eye opening events in your life to share with others...Step 40, only go to the doctor for magic fix everything pills..


Then there's Alcoholics Anonymous recovery steps..I'm not sayin my recovery steps don't work , God knows I used them for many years..I just kind of stumbled on a much more comfortable way of living..A kind of living thats not such a one way street, if you will..It's called Alcoholics Anonymous...Much less selfishness and self imposed stress..Major cut back on the self-centered fear I wasn't even aware I had.  But, I guess the big event in my life has proved to be a willingness to let go of my survival tactics or my recovery and try AA. This I did because I wanted to..Well, maybe in the beginning I had to but it didn't take long before I was mingling with people who were just about staying sober and seeking peace without all the pressure, they had enough trouble with their lives  it seemed and so had I..


AA, the people, friends and such..I don't know how but I do know why..I've been blessed with a willingness  to believe in a power greater than myself, a spiritual higher power that some time back I would have thought plain silly..AA suggested my own conceptiion of a  spiritual power greater than myself was enough to make the approach to the program so I said why not..It's not all hunkey dorey( what ever that means)  but when I meet the man who still suffers and get the honor to be of service to him? When I see his hope when we speak of spiritual things? I wouldn't have it any other way..Not my way, not your way..All grand moral and philosophical convictions or even in depth rational theories based on personal experience don't have the depth and weight needed to hold my attention long enough to survive my own self distructive behaviour.. I have found recovery a day at a time from a seemingly hopeless state..I just thought I should say that, maybe I'll see you around the halls of AA........If you're here on this site I am honored to meet you..I hope you find what you seek here today.....Thanks